The Readings - Words of Wit and Wisdom
The first reading by my good friend and mentor Mr Sunil Rupasinha.
A poem by Pam Ayres; "Yes I will marry you" as doctored by Bharat and Alison:
Yes Iíll marry You
By Pam Ayres
Doctored by Alison and Bharat
Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And hereís the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry
And I hear a knocking
And itís creepy and itís late
I hand you the torch you see
And you investigate
Yes Iíll marry you my dear
And you may not apprehend it
But when the tumble dryer goes
Its you that has to mend it
You have to face the neighbour
Should our roggie cat attack him
And if a drunkard fondles me
Its you that has to whack him
Yes Ill marry you
Youíre virile and youíre lean
Your house is like a pigsty
I'll help you keep it clean
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candle night
As I do the chappatis you can cook it every night
Itís you who has to work the drill
And put up curtain track
And when Iíve got a migraine its you who gets the flack
I do see great advantages
But none of them for you
And so before you see the light
I do I do I do I do
A second reading by our good friend Chris Teasdale: A gentleman and a man with a tree of knowledge.
"A tale about the wife of Bath," by Geoffrey Chaucer in 1390, as doctored by Chris,
Bharat and Alison for March 30th 2002.
Wife of Bathís tale
Geoffrey Chaucer in 1390 or thereabouts.
Doctored by Christopher Teasdale in 2002.
"Choose now", say she, "one of these two things,
To have me foul and old until I die,
And to be to you a true humble wife,
And never displease you in all of my life,
Or else to have me young and pretty and
put up with all those men who come to your house especially to see me
Or perhaps in some other place, that may as be.
Now you choose, whichever you like best."
The knight thought hard and sighed a lot,
But at last this is what he said.
"My lady and my love and wife so dear
I put myself in your hands
You choose which is best
And most honourable for both of us.
I will be happy with whichever you like."
"Then I am your master", she says
"Since I can choose and decide as I see fit"
"Yes certainly wife", say he, "I think it best."
"Kiss me", she says, "we can no longer disagree.
I promise, to you I will be both
That is to say both fair and good
And to you the best and truest wife
There has ever been in the world
And if I am the most beautiful woman
There is, from east to west
I commit myself to you,
Now see how this is."
And when the Knight saw all this
That she was so fair and young
He held her joyfully in his arms
His heart was bathed in a bath of bliss
And by him, several thousand times, she was kissed
And they lived and brought pleasure to each other
In perfect joy to the end of their lives
And may all women have husbands
Kind, young and fresh in bed.
And gracious all his life, he who a woman wed.
And I hope for a very short life
For the man who wonít be governed by his wife
And the angry miser who wonít spend his pence
I hope gets disgusting pestilence.
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