The Readings - Words of Wit and Wisdom

 

The first reading by my good friend and mentor Mr Sunil Rupasinha.

A poem by Pam Ayres; "Yes I will marry you" as doctored by Bharat and Alison:

 

Yes Iíll marry You

By Pam Ayres

Doctored by Alison and Bharat

 

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,

And hereís the reason why;

So I can push you out of bed

When the baby starts to cry

And I hear a knocking

And itís creepy and itís late

I hand you the torch you see

And you investigate

Yes Iíll marry you my dear

And you may not apprehend it

But when the tumble dryer goes

Its you that has to mend it

You have to face the neighbour

Should our roggie cat attack him

And if a drunkard fondles me

Its you that has to whack him

Yes Ill marry you

Youíre virile and youíre lean

Your house is like a pigsty

I'll help you keep it clean

That sexy little dinner

Which you served by candle night

As I do the chappatis you can cook it every night

Itís you who has to work the drill

And put up curtain track

And when Iíve got a migraine its you who gets the flack

I do see great advantages

But none of them for you

And so before you see the light

I do I do I do I do

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A second reading by our good friend Chris Teasdale: A gentleman and a man with a tree of knowledge.

"A tale about the wife of Bath," by Geoffrey Chaucer in 1390, as doctored by Chris,

Bharat and Alison for March 30th 2002.

 

Wife of Bathís tale

Geoffrey Chaucer in 1390 or thereabouts.

Doctored by Christopher Teasdale in 2002.

 

"Choose now", say she, "one of these two things,

To have me foul and old until I die,

And to be to you a true humble wife,

And never displease you in all of my life,

Or else to have me young and pretty and

put up with all those men who come to your house especially to see me

Or perhaps in some other place, that may as be.

Now you choose, whichever you like best."

The knight thought hard and sighed a lot,

But at last this is what he said.

"My lady and my love and wife so dear

I put myself in your hands

You choose which is best

And most honourable for both of us.

I will be happy with whichever you like."

"Then I am your master", she says

"Since I can choose and decide as I see fit"

"Yes certainly wife", say he, "I think it best."

"Kiss me", she says, "we can no longer disagree.

I promise, to you I will be both

That is to say both fair and good

And to you the best and truest wife

There has ever been in the world

And if I am the most beautiful woman

There is, from east to west

I commit myself to you,

Now see how this is."

And when the Knight saw all this

That she was so fair and young

He held her joyfully in his arms

His heart was bathed in a bath of bliss

And by him, several thousand times, she was kissed

And they lived and brought pleasure to each other

In perfect joy to the end of their lives

And may all women have husbands

Kind, young and fresh in bed.

And gracious all his life, he who a woman wed.

And I hope for a very short life

For the man who wonít be governed by his wife

And the angry miser who wonít spend his pence

I hope gets disgusting pestilence.

 

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